Putpocketing In London....Big deal..Huh!!!

A recent initiative by a Broadband company in Britain has set quite a few tongues rolling. It is deemed to be a great act of generosity by a corporate house to heal the damage inflicted on the corporate sector’s image by the current financial crisis. Some 20 Ex Pickpockets have been hired to sneakily slip money ranging from £5 to a £20 in the pockets or bags of Britons.

http://optimistworld.com/Talk-Talk-Put-Pockets-pick-pocketing/

Media has been all gaga over this exercise terming it to be never –done-before kind of act. Chill folks, we Indians had cracked this way before. Yes, now we can also self-righteously blame the Goras of plagiarism.
If you have narrowed your whodunit guesses down to some NGO or social worker, you have got it all wrong…
The honour goes to our esteemed netas who have been doing this for a long time.Unlike some random corporate house of Britain which woke up by once-in- half-a- century recession to dole out some petty cash , they make it a point to shower their ‘hard pickpocketed money’ every five years.
Over the years they have been far more thoughtful in understanding the need of common man and have expanded their roster of offerings by TV,s , free food and yes of course, uninterrupted supply of our ‘National drink’.
So please take it easy fellas ..you are just a new kid in the block and have a long way to go. May be a word or two of advice from our Politicians may teach you better how to give it back…

A Letter to the Serial Kisser

Mr Hashmi,

I am a big fan of yours and have drawn a lot of learning and inspiration from your Kissing crusades.
You have placed the profound art of smooching into an elevated pedestal, rescuing it from the darkness of tinted Car windows and obscurity of the corner seats of theatre.
Not only me, the entire nation owes you a great deal for providing us with the vicarious sensuous pleasures long muffled by the kill joy of roses, marigolds and other vegetations.
Trust me, I have also showered you with my complete affection and didn’t leave any stone unturned in reciprocating for your generosity of lending your chops out for our amusement so often.
I have religiously watched your movies without ever watching out for your religion.

I was highly dismayed to see your Lokhandwala dreams trashed ostensibly, due to your religion.

You were disenchanted by this outright renunciation and cried foul over this discrimination in front of Media. This stirred up a storm of sorts for a few days and catapulted you to the front pages as a poor victim of prejudice against Islam in India.

However, shedding tears publicly for partisan behaviour ( That too without much credible evidence) may have helped you garner some placatory words of sympathy but nothing beyond that.

You should have better known that it is not a problem pertaining to a particular religion but afflicts everyone with a surname not appetizing enough to some group or the other.
I myself have been denied a flat because of not belonging to a particular sub-community of Hindus.
There are a large number complexes dedicated to a particular religion, community and the number is rising.
It would have been better had you positioned your resentment against this larger practice of compartmentalization on the basis of various groups, that is munching into the foundations of the nation.
Instead of summoning your celebrity status to provide juicy religious inequity oriented story to Media, you could have been a flag bearer of this noble cause and done a far better service to this country
Even if you did not want to stick yourself out for a public service like you pop out your lips, a letter to the housing or Home ministry of state, marking your resentment would have solved your purpose.

If anything, all that your behavior has done is made the lunatic fringe elements waiting like hounds to pounce on these issues , malign India’s image and vitiate our communal harmony.

In the end, I am sad that this Residential aspiration of yours remained unfulfilled. But I hope it has brought you a learning that its easy to play a Hero in reel life by shaking ones butts, but to become one in real life, it’s the guts that matter.

Yours Truly,

An Indian
Religion – Doesn’t Matter

Waste Book !!!

Like my contemporaries of the internet age and the social networking culture I also follow the ritual of beginning my day by paying obeisance to facebook. Here, I am greeted by tons of information in various hues and forms- or should I say fonts- wishing me good morning and smirking at my helplessness .

Following are some of the examples

• “Peter took the quiz what were you in your past life” (and result is that , you were the same ar****le as you are now )
• Mohini changed her profile pic ( 6th time in as many mins)
• Mahesh Became member of the group ‘I Shit everyday’
• Vishal is pulling his hairs out ( Just reached puberty and is all zapped by this new development )
• “Rohit took how well you know Meenakshi (His girlfriend) and the result is just 10% “(Now he will get a strong kick between his legs)

A very significant amount of time on internet is being spend maneuvering through this rabble and scrolling up and down a few kilometers of cyber space everyday. (I wonder if loitering around is a crime in cyber law)

The need to communicate is becoming an addiction to express. It seems people, who are generally calculative with words and expressions, constrained by societal norms , are expressing themselves with vengeance in these social platforms.
This development however, is leaving enormous amount of residue in the form of trivial quizzes, synthetic status messages and useless groups. Zillions of man hours are being spent in processing this Toxic waste of information. I wonder if there is any parallel in the history of this kind of wastage of Human time and effort in producing something so much without value.
Internet is one of the cruelest paradoxes of our times. It has brought tremendous amount of useful information (Like this blog ;) ) accessible and people together. However, the pollution of these information factories (read social networking sites and other such forums) has started affecting our collective productivity by providing us a readily available tool of distraction and procrastination.

I would like to quote Doris Lessing,2007 noble laureate in literature.

“We have never thought to ask, how will our lives, our way of thinking, be changed by this internet, which has seduced a whole generation with its inanities so that even quite reasonable people will confess that once they are hooked, it is hard to cut free”

Though I do not completely agree with Lessing , lest be labeled as the cranky, insecure creature from dark ages, her argument does merit some attention from the intelligentsia.

This inexorable rise of internet waste may soon reach alarming levels with adverse affects more perceptible than now. The only way to contain will be to exercise self restrain. Once a week off from the social networking and chatting would not be bad for a start.
I am sure if someone wants to reach you for all its worth and urgency, will catch hold of you any how and vice versa.

NRI - Non Respectful Indians ??????????????

“We were booed by the Indian supporters when we walked in to the ground .It was very shocking to be hard done at in your own country” Said Paul Collingwood crossly during his victory speech after prevailing over India in the 20-20 world cup match.

This has come very close to the heels of the highly controversial statement of Nick Griffin, head of right wing British Nationalist Party. “There is no more space for any one in England, be it green, brown or yellow “stated griffin impertinently.
Whereas Griffin’s misguided and short of sanity comments were clobbered hard from political commentators across the world, Collingwood’s poignancy failed to make much of the score.
It is really agonizing to be booed in your country by the crowds supporting the opponent side. It is all the more heartrending when it is done by the diaspora living off the political, social and economic resources of the host nation.
The excitement and overcharged emotions of Indians living in England watching their home country play in a crucial match is understandable.
But the pouring forth of the overflowing patriotic sentiments in the cricket ground by hooting against the host team is incredibly antagonizing act that smacks of the insensitivity and ungratefulness of our much-loved NRI’s

Not only this kind of acts provide fodder to the Xenophobic hidebounds like Griffin for their propaganda against the emigrants but also sows the seeds of misgivings among the liberals who have embraced the people of foreign origins respecting their original ethnic identities. What else could justify the maiden victories of extremist British National Parties in the European parliament seats?
One owes some respect for the land they have made their home especially as a choice which should get manifested in these moments of truths.
I reiterate that there is no wrong with supporting your native land over your emigrated country but a certain sense of restrain in the frenzy must be exercised. Infact, it requires a serious introspection if this control is enforced out of fear or ingratiation and not as a natural outcome of appreciation
For those who have not been able to harbor and imbibe that respect must understand that the green cards and permanent residencies they yearn for and proudly wear on their sleeves to make some material karmas, do merit some responsibility and dharma.

Confessions of a compulsive blogger

Most of the times, I have so much to write and profess about. There is a young rebellion like enthusiasm in my grey cells to mould my thoughts in the shape of words. They seem to take the sadistic pleasure out of the pangs of repentance that occur to the readers of my blogs.
However, for the last couple of weeks, this strong force of mine has not been performing up to its regular standards. Their defense mechanism had been unable to ward off multiple bees in my bonnets. Their seemed to have been a big crater in my stimulus shelter. I am not being able to sift the useful, feasible thoughts from the chaff of random ramblings. Every time I would start writing on something, the thoughts would go astray to other universe not being able to pin down a singular idea.
I was wondering, if I had gone intellectually bankrupt. Whereas everybody was blogging about elections, IPL (Both original and fake) etc, I could not find anything under the sun to write on, to share my point of view on. Were my grey cells failing like American investment banks or they had stirred up to the good karma and decided not to abet me in torturing of readers.
However, like it’s difficult to keep the sportsman off the field, it’s difficult to keep me off the word pad. I pulled up last few of the friendly grey cells and approached the keyboard.
Although my fingers are working faster than my brain, I am determined to write, determined to leave the indelible mark of my thoughts (how much ever useless they may be) . In the absence of anything else, I feel like sharing my pains of not having updated my blog for last one month and today being the beginning of another one, I pledge to embarrass the writing board unabatedly. I will be unfazed by the barbs, anger of the unlucky ones who may stumble upon my blog.
This post is an attempt to mark the end of the month long famine of posts and also indicate the quality of stuff to come in the future.
Trust me I don’t have any malice intent towards anyone but I am logically challenged and addictive to writing deadly stuff (almost literally). Almost every post of mine is preluded by sincere prays to the almighty hoping that in case you encounter the link through a chain of forwarded mail, on my various status bars, recommendation (chances of which are slightly less than once in a million) or by any other such accident , you just don’t click on it . I hope that mail carrying mentally paralyzing virus lands in spam (If you belong to the minority who have not yet categorized my mails as spam) or your internet connection fails the moment your risk taking instincts take you closer to that lethal link.. And if my good wishes go in vain, I pray for your faster recovery..

Most of the times, I have so much to write and profess about. There is a young rebellion like enthusiasm in my grey cells to mould my thoughts in the shape of words. They seem to take the sadistic pleasure out of the pangs of repentance that occur to the readers of my blogs.
However, for the last couple of weeks, this strong force of mine has not been performing up to its regular standards. At first their seems to be lack of team work as it has been unable to ward off multiple bees in my bonnets. There seemed to have been a big crater in my stimulus shelter. I am not being able to filter the sift of the useful, feasible thoughts from the chaff of random ramblings. Every time I would start writing on something, the thoughts would go astray to other universe not being able to pin down a singular idea.
I was wondering, if I had gone intellectually bankrupt. Where everybody was blogging about elections, IPL (Both original and fake) etc, I could not find anything under the sun to write on, to share my point of view on. Were my grey cells failing like American investment banks or they had stirred up to the good karma and decided not to abet me in torturing of readers.
However, like it’s difficult to keep the sportsman off the field, it’s difficult to keep me off the word pad. I pulled up last few of the friendly grey cells and approached the keyboard.
Although my fingers are working faster than my brain, I am determined to write, determined to leave the indelible mark of my thoughts (however useless they may be) . In the absence of anything else, I feel like sharing my pains of not having updated my blog for last one month and today being the beginning of another one, I pledge to embarrass the writing board further. I will be unfazed by the barbs, anger of the unlucky ones who may stumble upon my blog.
This post is an attempt to mark the end of the month long famine of posts and also indicate the quality of stuff to come in the future. In case you encounter the link to my post through a chain of forwarded mail, on my various status bars, recommendation (chances of which are slightly less than once in a million) or by any other such accident , I wish you best of luck . I hope that mail carrying mentally paralyzing virus lands in spam (If you belong to the minority who have not yet categorized my mails as spam) or your internet connection fails the moment your

Chaddi ka Funda

He adjusted his pants, albeit a little lower, rendering a wide band of Calvin Klein underwear exposed. The string of over obese letters written in bold Times Roman appeared like the set of teeth, worn-out by smoke, laughing at me gleefully. I suddenly got conscious and wondered if that Calvin Klein was mocking at my Roopa ;) .
I instantly provided some stimulus of huge breath-in to my 34 inches liability like waist and bailed out my pants which were going down like U.S economy with my hands. I had a paroxysm of Inferiority complex triggered by the new fashion mantra.
In the hindsight, I was shocked by a chaddi’s potency to make me feel inferior (even more than I normally do).
Like any other good and a fulltime wannabe I was also emotionally moved and instantly pumped up to soon flaunt my Calvin Klien chaddi proudly.
The very next day, I went to an undergarment shop and smugly asked for a Calvin Klien. However, the salesman without making any move and evincing an interest in the prospective sale, alerted me with the price “It’s for 1350”. He said trying to shoo me away as if he knew my spending power (Lack of it). However, being a veteran of massive humiliations of different kinds, these minor embarrassments seize to faze me anymore.
Moreover that salesman was not be blamed entirely, my looks are really deceptive… you know ;) . I am sure my face was made in a Chinese factory, by a trainee and without any quality control :(
However, I had to save my face in light of this embarrassing truth and replied back equally harshly “Is this price for just inquiring or do you sell one as well”. He seemed to have realized his mistake and frantically plucked out one fancy looking dabba from one of the wall mounted racks.
He asked me the size to which I told him flexible. He was upset by the answer and said “I am asking about the size of the underwear”. I told him to show me the colors first.

All this while, a different tussle was taking place in my mind. A very feeble and marginalized rationale part of my brain was trying to convince a strong gang of wanna be neurons against this buy.
I could not afford 1350 (My next five years budget for undergarments even after adjusting for inflation) for one elastic band around my waist. But that strong majority of wanna be neurons were constantly luring me with the fantasies of Calvin Klein peeping out of my pants and people irresistibly turning their heads looking with awe and envy at my priced possession as I walk away..
Finally, the wannabe in me prevailed as I made another dent to my depleting credit card limit.
Never had that part of my body been so close to something so expensive and it felt as if my testicles (Balls (to)…. for the less knowledgeable and decent ones) were jumping out of excitement.
I also realized that this is the most expensive resident of my wardrobe and merit a VVIP treatment. I carefully created a place for it among the commotion of other haphazardly lying stuff.
The next day morning, with Calvin in my pant, I felt like a man. I invented newer ways to fiddle with my trouser to complement my regular habit of scratching balls. It was necessary to make some breathing room for the new arrival and also its introduction to the world. I was damn sure that my new chaddi was the hottest thing on the street and partly the reason for the traffic jam.
Its been four days that I have that chaddi , and every single day I was under the firm impression that the sun rises only to throw light on it and its sight is the only orgasmic moment for the girls of my building . However, all this was fated to burst today when my office boy heaved a big sigh “Sir. Same to same” I asked “what”
“Our underwear” he said slipping his trousers a little down to reveal his version of that bloody band. “In fact I have just bought 5 of these yesterday for 150” He further revealed, to my utmost chagrin.
I am completely heart broke, not sure if the pangs are due the fact that even an office boy has it or at my foolishness.

Sabse bada rog..Kya kahenge log

Yeh dunia ek rangmach hai babu moshaye.

This famous dialogue of 70’s hit flick Ananda, seemed to have been taken too seriously by some People. Every action, reaction and gesture reeks of their over consciousness of the world around them, which to them is their audience. They seem to be chronically suffering from the notion of being constantly watched over by someone.

Incurably endemic to them is the fear of being caught in a situation which they feel is socially undesirable or even worse, down-market.

I won’t be too surprised if these people, owing to their terminal insecurity, try to pool in the same degree of fictitious style and artificial élan in their most private activities like bathing ,shiting and etc etc etc ;)

Imagine them perched atop a pot painstakingly stirring their ass until convinced to have attained the notionally right pose to post ;)

Imagine if there were no closed toilet and they had to go through daily ritual in the open grounds, the proverbial lota would be the priced possession and another symbol of social status. The middle class would be content flaunting there 1.5 litre Pepsi. A more seasoned wannabe would throw his Chivas Regal in the ring. Whereas the Don Pedro or Swaroski would be the exclusive preserve of the ultra rich.

They are very strongly rooted to their convictions manifested even in the gravest and most unassuming of the situations. They would perhaps not even want their servant to be caught reading a vernacular newspaper and in the most salubrious of climate, keep the car windows closed as it gives an impression of Air conditioning. Examples galore of their histrionics and our planet is grossly crowded with the species.

They can be anyone but themselves. If human being is a social animal, these people are the inmates of a self imagined zoo leashed to their hyper sensitivity in the cage of their unrelenting conformist desire and attitude having completely lost their free flowing originality.I know quite a few people who want to a do lot of things which according to me don't even border on the wildness,promiscuity or even socially objectionable, but curb their desire and natural instincts for they are too scared of external responses to their actions which may not even exist.

I wonder how some things are so simple yet so difficult to achieve. Perhaps maintaining one’s originality is also one of them

A new SHOE-T in the arm

The recession hit shoe industry has been infused a new breath of life by the rising shoe flinging incidents across the world. So much so that a lot of leading footwear makers globally have decided to invest a sizeable chunk of their R&D into designing a footwear that is easy to fling and hits the target with a precision of a ballistic missile.
Leecock, Global leaders in the sports shoe category, are already in the process of creating a shoe that will help all those desperate to be famous folks including journalist community..
Mr. Shoolace Jootawala, Chief of emerging markets, Leecock Plc, refused to divulge the technical details of this new wonder shoe but did mention that this revolutionary invention would borrow from the aerodynamics used in the aero planes so that the shoe can travel long distance “This is very important considering that our large set of customers are found in election rallies in places like India where the distance between the thrower and the receiver is too far” explained Mr.Jootawala.
It has been learnt that some companies are also trying to invent a shoe along the lines of self guided missiles so that the thrower can make sure that once programmed to a particular object, the shoe find its own way to hit the target.
Our reliable sources have also learnt that ‘Chanta’ , a household name of footwears in the Indian subcontinent has secretly tested a fling specialist hawai chappal for the journalist of small newspaper as low cost alternative to expensive brands like Leecock and BadiAss.

If the recent clandestine meetings of Mr.Jootawala with Muntadar al-Zaidi, the Iraqi journalist, widely respected as father of Shoe Flinging are anything to go by , there is every possibility of him being appointed as the brand ambassador of the Leecock’s next offering.
There also reports of Mr.Jarnail Singh Shoemaarker opening a Show throw academy where the journalists will be taught the dynamics of throwing a shoe in Press conferences and distance throw during rallies.

This has also received a very positive response from the political leaders as it will encourage more and more people in shoe throwing and hence catapult them into the elite category of Bush,Advani and Chidambram. However, the recent shoe throwing incident at Mr.Advani in a rally has sparked new debate among congress and BJP. Congress Spokesman was quoted as saying that Mr.Chidambaram of their party got hit by a brand new shoe of Leecock whereas Mr.Advani was treated with a down-market cheap priced khadau. This according to congress spokesman shows popularity of congress party over BJP .BJP, on the other hand has rebuted congress’s claims on the grounds of research they conducted on the Khadau which according to them was made of an extremely precious wood found in the dense forests of Ireland and hence more expensive then the Leecock (He misspelled the brand name as ‘Lee’s cock’ as a protest of which he was also thrown a shoe at by one brand loyalist). He also mentioned that the same wood is used to produce the pencil used by the security guard of white house to note details of daily visitors.
To score another point over the rival party, he also mentioned that Khadau is a symbol of Masses and hence symbolizes that BJP is party of masses unlike congress which only cares for rich and elite few.
Communist party of India has criticized the BJP and the congress for foreign connections in the shoes thrown at their leaders.
Mr Fududeb Bhattacharya, the chief Minister of West Bengal has credited his party to be the only party with pure and honest nationalist interest.” Unlike BJP and congress who have been hurled shoes made in foreign soil or with foreign raw material our leaders are thrown at lakhani , action or even paragon, complete Indian brands ”

However, the Shoe throwing has also evoked concerns at some quarters. The recent intelligence reports of CIA reveal that the Taliban is training a lethal shoe throwing brigade ‘HisBoots Mujahideen’ for hurling shoes at the next press conference of Barack Obama.
This Brigade will also be equipped with the stinking socks. As a precautionary measure Mr.Obama will address all the press conferences wearing a helmet and is also advised to keep 4 packs of Odonil or other toilet fresheners with him at any given time to alleviate the outbreak of foul smell of the socks which ostensibly have been worn continuously for 3 months without any exposure to any kind of liquid but the sweat of the Taliban fighters.

Okay Folks I think that’s enough of Blogging Shoe-logging.
I am sure quite a few of those who have read, by now must be yearning to throw a few shoes at me but in vain. Don’t worry very soon you will be able to…..Google is developing a new application that will enable you to throw a shoe online via chat and video conferencing.and yahoo is...
Okay okay…M not continuing..That’s it for now

Hey Bhagwan..

A huge sized car with 4 balls (Oh sorry circles…) on its front was lined in the traffic among other relatively insignificant moving boxes. I was walking down the Mahalaxmi Bridge marveling at the curvaceous beauty with the size of a beast when this sight triggered a flurry of thoughts. I was suddenly transferred into a world of aspirations and dissatisfaction which lead to anger and complaints.

Anger against destiny and complains against God. I took a huge last puff off the cigarette, crushed it with my boots in Rajnikant style and decided to do an Amitabh Bachhan on the God. I scampered off to a nearest temple with a vengeance and beckoned him for a face off (I chose male god for males are more emotional than females).

There was a eerie silence for a few seconds broken only by another loud scream of challenge.

Finally the almighty seemed to be provoked enough for the confrontation and made an entry with the usual fanfare of lighting and the Ravindra Jains’ Mahabharata music.

How kiddish and wannabe. The evolved ones don’t resort to much of razzmatazz .It seems that they have been watching too much of WWE up above. What else can justify an Undertaker like entry?

At the first appearance without sharing any pleasantries I shouted at the god for doling out a raw deal to me

Me: “Kya bhagwan.. See that fellow in Olympics car” God was a little dumbfounded to hear “Which Olympics car” he said

Me: The one that was stuck in traffic with four balls on its front”

God:” Arey Murkh that is called Audi”

Me: Whatever.. See that’s exactly what I have come here to discuss with you. .why have you eluded me of these good things of life”

“Maine aaj tak tumse kuchh nahi manga lekin..”

I had not even finished the sentence that the god descended on me

“U ehsaan faramosh .. Are u suffering from short term memory loss or what… Just yesterday you had goofed up by replacing N with G while addressing your Boss Nandu kishore in a mail and the moment you realized the blunder you frantically tried to cancel the mail while squealing “God please save me”

Every other day you have constipation you call for my mercy…Do you think I am a Kayam churn or what.”

I retorted. - “Its okay.. I may have done that and anyways that’s your Job to help the mankind.”

Almighty immediately snapped back upon hearing this “OHOO..AHAA look who is preaching about the job. The flawless Goofer who can’t do a thing without making a mistake. But I must appreciate your consistency”

But I was in no mood to let this conversation segue into an unwanted territory. I was there for a purpose. I told him to cut the crap and listen to me “Mera number kab ayega” I said sternly. God grinned with an irritating glee in his eyes and said “Shyadad Kabhi nahi kyon ki tere number bahut kam hain”

I asked “what numbers are you talking about”

“Everywhere.. Your numbers in school, college and also now in appraisal forms” He replied.

I was astonished by the indifference and shouted back saying “What the hell do you mean by less numbers!! I scored more than 60% in my graduation”

“Oh yeah 60%..But was it not the lowest in the class of 80?”He asked tauntingly

“It was again not my mistake your fortune writers seem to have a personal agenda against me. If those scheming buggers fated me to be in class of super intelligent (champions of mugging , to be honest) what is my fault in it?.

Rather it’s your failure as a super boss of this creation .You don’t know what is happening in your universe. Have you ever reviewed the work of the company you have outsourced the fortune writing to?

Have you ever tried to find out the gadbad ghotala and biases they make while documenting destinies of the mankind? You are just lying in your cosy 3 BHK apartment watching either wrestling or MTV roadies or chatting to apsaras of the swarglok”

And by the way, I know that you have regular scuffles with your consorts over your dalliances. However, I am not that cheap to sneak into your personal life. But I must say that this outsourcing thing has completely spoiled you”

God was completely astounded and also caught unprepared by the accusation and asked angrily “What bakwas are you doing. I know everything that is happening and you better stay clear from that chatting thing and get to the point”

I was overwhelmed for having caught the smartest one wrong footed and asked “Okay tell me fast when I am going to be rich and famous, I don’t have much time to waste in this conversation”

God, who by this time had realized that I was not like a mere mortal vulnerable hero of Hollywood movie whom he can get around easily , but a super powered and insurmountable Bollywood super star , said” See child, going by the readily available information that I have of you , the chances are grim but still I will go through your complete record personally in detail and see if there is an iota of good deed and hard work that merits some good destiny”

“But I must tell you that our complaint register is replete with the poor souls who have fallen victim to your mischievous tendencies and vagaries of your naughtiness”.

Though I knew what he was referring to , I feigned complete ignorance and acted completely astonished and shocked by the accusation ” What do you mean by complaints. I have never ever teased a fly”

Luckily, the god was in a hurry and wanted to leave for he had to judge a Bhajan singing talent show organized in heaven by Gulshan Kumar…

He asked me to come over next day morning and continue this discussion. By then, he also promised to personally go through my record for the analysis of my destiny.

I was also in a need of breather to prepare for my defense” Bye and see you tomorrow morning at 9.15 and you better be ready with the final solution tomorrow” I said

The god wished me bye and all the best for the next and disappeared. However, no music this time…Musician may have gone off to sleep bored by this conversation or electricity cut….GOD KNOWS !!!

NANO Ya Na NANO

08:35:52, 08:35:51, 08:35:50….These are the first few seconds of my today morning when I logged on to a website as part of the early morning ritual. My eyes were caught at an unusual sight of a digital clock hanging on the top right side of the home page. I immediately swung my eyes to my wrist watch for the time which was way off the one displayed.

Upon a little deliberation, it occurred to my prematurely worn-out and hence slowed down brain to be a countdown to an eagerly awaited event being touted as a gigantic achievement of modern India. An epochal act of engineering excellence marking India’s big leap towards the snooty coterie of the world’s leading Automobile manufacturers.

Another vindication of the maxim, all small things come in a small package, and a complete antithesis to its name, Nano is one enormous testimony to the rising power of Indian Industrial Ingenuity and its coming of age.

However, in this fervour and loud trumpeting of celebration has drowned a waning yelp of cry from the crippling infrastructure which is even insufficient to handle the current lot of machines plying on our roads and accommodate the ever inflating number of cars in its scantily available parking space.

This gift by TATA to an aspiring Indian middle class could turn out to be a time bomb in the making, waiting to blast into a never ending caravan of cars, dotting already over crowded Indian roads capturing every little inch left.

Not only the never ending anaconda like snarl ups , an acute mismatch between the parking space available and the number of vehicles further throws a spanner on the joy of owning the car. Add to this chaos the toxic gases these mean machines will vomit and it becomes a perfect recipe for a disaster.
I feel that the answer to the rising needs and aspiration of Indian middle class is not a Nano , but a world class public transport system which provides them with the comfort, safety and reliability of a personal four wheeler , even if it comes at a premium. But like always, our government’s intentions have lagged way behind the abilities and vision of our entrepreneurs. Many projects meant to change the landscape of Indian Public transport system are running terrible behind their schedules or caught up in the warp zone of beaureacracy.

My apprehension about Nano however does not mean to take anything away from the admiration that Ratan Tata and his team merits for making millions of people realize their dream of owning a car.
My fear stems from a feeling that Nano is product that due to lack of supporting infrastructure(Wide Roads, Flyovers and Parking space) is a little ahead of its time and portends a pandemonium which will do more harm than good.