Winston Churchill once said ' Never let a good crisis go to waste' I'll add my mean wisdom to it. 'Don't waste a crisis especially if its not yours'. And for five Star resorts, there could'nt be a better crisis than the Political ones .
Lawmakers from across party lines being lugged in
buses to the fancy resorts is becoming quite a frequent sight. Grinning
from ear to ear, splashing victory signs, they represent the enthusiasm of
school children leaving for a picnic. And the excitement is well justified.
Imagine an indefinite vacation, where one can summon everything on the left of Menu
without even a side glance to the right, sans any work pressure. It is the most
luxurious all expenses paid holiday that one can ask for.
Given how central the resorts are becoming to the politics, all political
parties will have to seriously think about setting up a crack team of resort
specialists. They will need to make sure that neither can anyone checkout
anytime they like, nor they can leave.
It’s also a huge business opportunity for the hotel and resort industry. After
all, every non-BJP ruled state is a new sale waiting to happen. And elections are
like the festive season.
I am listing out a few value-adds that can help a hospitality brand become
a preferred choice of all the parties wanting to safeguard their flock from
falling prey to the rival gangs of wolves
Live Tracking
Naïve MLAs must be kept safe from the
evil eye of opponents. Hence keeping an eye on them is of utmost importance.
Hotel should offer high tech monitoring services to track every move of the
sequestered MLAs.
Reconnaissance
It is also important to know your
enemy’s moves. Hence, bugging the rival camp’s hotel can be the deal
clincher. Having expert detectives and reconnaissance expertise would
also help.
Enhanced immunity
MLAs can also be influenced and
brainwashed through families and friends. Hence jammers to block phone calls
should be made available, should a political faction demand so.
Financial advisory
Since these lawmakers are being made to avoid the
allure of Money from the rivals, training sessions on how to make up for that
lost opportunity is critical. Celebrated Ponzy scheme founders, Drug
lords, Bitcoin traders, Nigerian mail racket operators could be invited to
provide training.
Private screenings
Some of them might be missing the private
screenings from assembly sessions. They could be offered Free Pornhub or any
other ‘Mature’ content site subscription as a part of the package.
Career and life counselling
Keeping up with the speed of this
age, our lawmakers are also flexible and nimble. Their loyalties and ideologies
are always-on-the-move. They need to be conditioned to stick with the herd for
personal and professional success. An expert panel of motivational, speakers,
Psychologists, spiritual gurus or even hypnotists will go a long way in
establishing an edge over rival hotels.
Debate sessions
Some hardworking lawmakers might miss
the action of assembly debates. For them, a dummy session can be convened every
week. For close to natural experience, they should be allowed to hurl abuses,
chappals, microphones at each other.
Customer Care
Last and the least. if any lawmaker wishes to
connect with the Voters, try and arrange for a virtual conference. This is good
to have. But not a deal breaker
