'How will you manage' - An innocuous question that belies all the claims of equality at a workplace !

‘How will you manage?’ is a usual refrain in job interviews for a friend who has been looking for a job change for last few months. And the question isn’t official! 

With an impressive track record, she does get called for meetings with the decisions makers. And her conversations progress well too, but for the last casual lap that usually includes queries about family et al.
As soon as her 9 month old finds a mention, she senses a sudden change in equation, and an air of awkwardness. Despite the interviewer’s best attempts to remain indifferent to the revelation, the tone of voice betrays the sudden buildup of doubt.

She would give the benefit of doubt in the first couple of interviews, but the Penny dropped when this was consistent response in the next few meetings as well. Her follow up phone calls go unanswered or in some cases the role is temporarily ‘put on hold’ or the all-weather ‘we’ll get back’ card is shown. (What that speaks of the HR practices in our country is a different topic for some other day)
She feels that in one sweep, her experience and achievements are wiped off her CV and all that is left of her credentials or lack of it is a Mother of a young child

May be there are other reasons for her not making the cut. Probably be she didn’t genuinely fit the bill; But the prevalence of the stereotype that a woman’s professional commitments might clash with her parenting responsibilities, is laid bare, perhaps innocently, by the innocuous looking ‘How will you Manage?’  I wonder how many men have had doubt casted upon their ability to contribute productively after they became father.

This episode shows the tokenism of Female empowerment, in an era where every female CEO is celebrated as the ambassador of Women empowerment. Despite fashionable proclamations to be more inclusive and equal, just scratch the surface and one sees the same old gender stereotypes being played in the wider, real world

It is an indictment on our over enthusiasm about some sundry wins at the top and using those as case studies for the winds of change. In a true sense, road towards gender balance in organisations is not through making more room for women at the upper echelons, but by giving them enough and equal  space in the lower rung. Through a truly meritorious system they will find the power to break the glass ceiling and get their rightful place at the top.

At a deeper level, it is also a reflection of the strongly entrenched old values that are constantly at odds with the larger societal need to be progressive. I know of some genuine efforts being made towards a more equitable culture in many organizations at a Policy level. But it becomes difficult for the people at helm to completely break from the mould of their deeply ingrained belief systems. It creates instinctive resistance to accepting the shift in gender roles. After all, organizations are made of People, not Policies

A more lasting solution is aligned with the behavioural change towards parenting that can be encouraged by the right policy making. For example, 26 weeks paid maternity leave can be replaced with 36 weeks of paternity leave, with both Mother and father splitting 18 months among themselves.  It will help inculcate and incentivize the habit of the father taking up the responsibility in the initial stages itself.

And as more fathers take up equal responsibility of parenting, it won’t only be women to Answer
‘How will you Manage?’