'How will you manage' - An innocuous question that belies all the claims of equality at a workplace !

‘How will you manage?’ is a usual refrain in job interviews for a friend who has been looking for a job change for last few months. And the question isn’t official! 

With an impressive track record, she does get called for meetings with the decisions makers. And her conversations progress well too, but for the last casual lap that usually includes queries about family et al.
As soon as her 9 month old finds a mention, she senses a sudden change in equation, and an air of awkwardness. Despite the interviewer’s best attempts to remain indifferent to the revelation, the tone of voice betrays the sudden buildup of doubt.

She would give the benefit of doubt in the first couple of interviews, but the Penny dropped when this was consistent response in the next few meetings as well. Her follow up phone calls go unanswered or in some cases the role is temporarily ‘put on hold’ or the all-weather ‘we’ll get back’ card is shown. (What that speaks of the HR practices in our country is a different topic for some other day)
She feels that in one sweep, her experience and achievements are wiped off her CV and all that is left of her credentials or lack of it is a Mother of a young child

May be there are other reasons for her not making the cut. Probably be she didn’t genuinely fit the bill; But the prevalence of the stereotype that a woman’s professional commitments might clash with her parenting responsibilities, is laid bare, perhaps innocently, by the innocuous looking ‘How will you Manage?’  I wonder how many men have had doubt casted upon their ability to contribute productively after they became father.

This episode shows the tokenism of Female empowerment, in an era where every female CEO is celebrated as the ambassador of Women empowerment. Despite fashionable proclamations to be more inclusive and equal, just scratch the surface and one sees the same old gender stereotypes being played in the wider, real world

It is an indictment on our over enthusiasm about some sundry wins at the top and using those as case studies for the winds of change. In a true sense, road towards gender balance in organisations is not through making more room for women at the upper echelons, but by giving them enough and equal  space in the lower rung. Through a truly meritorious system they will find the power to break the glass ceiling and get their rightful place at the top.

At a deeper level, it is also a reflection of the strongly entrenched old values that are constantly at odds with the larger societal need to be progressive. I know of some genuine efforts being made towards a more equitable culture in many organizations at a Policy level. But it becomes difficult for the people at helm to completely break from the mould of their deeply ingrained belief systems. It creates instinctive resistance to accepting the shift in gender roles. After all, organizations are made of People, not Policies

A more lasting solution is aligned with the behavioural change towards parenting that can be encouraged by the right policy making. For example, 26 weeks paid maternity leave can be replaced with 36 weeks of paternity leave, with both Mother and father splitting 18 months among themselves.  It will help inculcate and incentivize the habit of the father taking up the responsibility in the initial stages itself.

And as more fathers take up equal responsibility of parenting, it won’t only be women to Answer
‘How will you Manage?’

Real Heroes from Real Life- And they are all around us

Speak to people, strike a conversation with strangers; you never know when a meaningful lesson will unfold, an inspiring life insight will emerge.  As is my habit, I always speak to my Uber, Ola drivers during my rides.  And many a times I come back richer with human stories, with a fresh perspective to life. They act as my window to the world beyond the Glass walls of Air cooled Corporate offices. A recent ride with Uber proved to be one such profound experience.  My conversation with the driver, segued into a sensitive arena of politics and elections. In a world where a balanced, well rounded perspective is on the verge of extinction, I was surprised by his mature, informed and nuanced point of view, presented with an articulation that many of us in white collar jobs are devoid of. Since he was effortlessly dropping in English words with almost impeccable pronunciation, I couldn’t resist asking him about his education. It turned out that he was Masters in Political Science. He used to work with a Pharma company in Vardha(Gujarat) until about last year before his life took an unfortunate turn; His wife was diagnosed with blood cancer. He had no choice but to leave the job and return to his village in UP. Financial and Physical burden of looking after his wife was too much for him to manage alone in a foreign land whilst also taking care of his two young daughters. After having begun her preliminary treatment, he began the next struggle; Finding a job for himself. An unsuccessful job hunt that lasted a few months, took him to Delhi for a living. When nothing else worked out, he decided to drive the cab for someone else as he did not have enough funds to invest in own vehicle. 

Barely had he started to cope up with the ailing wife and the new life, another unfortunate event befell him. His younger daughter, of about 3 years was diagnosed with a congenital heart problem which needed an immediate surgery.  He again had to rush back to his home town to get her operated.  

For a brief moment, all my problems seemed way too smaller, and so did my character that gets ruffled up by any deviation from my expectation of life

And here was this man, unfolding the layers of his life, revealing the battered side, with complete nonchalance. Composure on his face betrayed the strength inside. Not for a moment I sensed negativity in his demeanor. Not once did he sound bitter by the raw deal of life. There was more Hope than despair
He made me realize that Heroes do not only exist in TVs or Newspapers. And they are also not always changing the world. Many real heroes are just going about their everyday struggles with head held high. Despite battered by life, they are carrying a cross on shoulders for their loved ones. And Bajrang is definitely a Hero.

Balakot – A war that didn’t happen, but everybody won.

Now that battle lines in the aftermath of Pulwama have pretty much drawn to a close, both the sides are out with their version of the Scorecard, each claiming its Victory

And since the twitter army has also retreated with its WtsApp allies and Newsroom warriors have calmed down, one can afford the risk of an objective view of the outcome.

Anger among the common public had made it important, if not necessary for the Modi govt. to take some tangible action.  And many a times, being victim of his words, Modi had to flex his proverbial 56 inches chest, else his strong man image would have taken major beating.

Jaish-e-Mohammed had claimed the responsibility of the attack and given that it operates out of safe havens in Pakistan, it was only natural for the blame to land squarely on its doorstep. And the talk from Imran Khan of punitive action against perpetrators if provided actionable evidence, despite all the sincerity it may have been appealed with, had a huge baggage of apathy from its previous governments on similar incidents. Tons of documents and dossiers were submitted by the earlier Indian govts that were best used as scrap for some petty change to help their ailing economy
It was tough, if not naive for Indian govt. to accept Imran Khan on face value.
One cannot deny that BJP sniffed an opportunity to drive Mileage and create a muscular narrative for election campaign that panders to its nationalist constituency. But it wasn’t not fraught with its risk. Things could have gone either way. But Risk taking has a certain currency in Politics and Modi is not averse to that.
But more importantly, India had to send out a strong message; that this proxy war comes at a cost; that the surgical strikes of 2016 were not a one- of act of retaliation but the beginning of a new approach. To paraphrase Stephen Cohen, Pakistan for long has held India and the world to ransom by putting the nuclear gun to its own head.  India needed to create a counter to Pakistan’s nuclear deterrent.
First round clearly belonged to India. Having crossed the Pakistan border, dodging the Radars and Air Defense systems and bombing the targets. All the major global powers rallied behind India. And enough dopamine of the victory had been released by media for common public.

Now it was Pakistan’s turn to respond. Imran Khan had already declared his stance should India choses to attack. At the same time, his army spokesperson had started de-escalation even before striking back when it played down the impact of Indian strikes. The narrative of forcing Indian aircrafts to retreat, preventing them from causing any casualties or material damage managed the Public sentiments well. But the fact that Indian jets flew all the way deep into Pakistan, even if was for dropping leaflets, as tweeted by a Pakistani Journalist, was in itself embarrassing enough for a nation whose military wear nuclear bombs on its sleeves. To be fair, they had retaliate in some form
And in what ensued as Pakistan’s response, one Indian Pilot evacuated in POK after a dogfight. Abhinandan’s exemplary valour and composure won hearts in India, and also dominated the popular narrative back home. An already high decibel paean of Patriotism in the media reached its crescendo, muffling the fact that with his capture the plot had started turning in Pakistan’s favor. In the brief contest, the only irrefutable proof of having caused a damage to the enemy rested with Pakistan.  

Here was Imran’s opportunity to score a point and he played well by announcing the release of Indian Pilot. For all the talk of his large-heartedness, the fact remains that Pakistan was not in a position to escalate. With less than 17 billion dollar in foreign reserves, it would have been foolhardy, if not suicidal to go to war. And guarantees from Chinese, their new imperial lords were not forthcoming either.
For those who see Imran Khan as a paragon of India-Pak peace,  over-enthusiastically nominating him for the Nobel, would serve the logic better by recalling that throughout his electioneering he took jibes at Nawaz Sharif by calling him ‘Modi Ka yaar’ , denouncing latter for his so called ‘Soft corner’ for India.

Bound by Vienna  convention or not, his decision was informed by pragmatism and realities, and definitely not Morality. Pakistan had evened the scores by winning the second round of Optics, at least in their country and Global Media. As much as we in India might not like it, by choosing to address the country himself, Imran Khan also stole the limelight from Modi. So Imran Khan had nothing further to gain politically.
From here, truce was predictable and easy. Tensions had hit that spot in the escalation axis from where both Imran Khan and Modi could claim political points; It was a unique contest that ended in a tie, where politicians from both sides of the border could claim victory.

 And media played its part by keeping the public intoxicated with uninterrupted supply of adrenaline and notional pride. Enough for them to forget the real problems of life.